literature

Sky Iron Mantis King

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Zed-of-Venice's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

I am washing away beneath a flood of mechanical insects.
Mantises hewn from meteoric iron race about around me.
Each is a masterpiece of engineering, exactingly shaped by the right hand of the cosmos.
I know each one by name. I sing to them; the words are ancient, foreign, and deep.
I serenade the scuttling masses in a tongue long lost to the mind but native to the soul.
After years of searching, I know I have discovered my heartsong.
The sky-iron marvels dance in precise unison; my song calls them to live within me forever.
I smile as they slip under my skin and into my veins.
I sigh as they transfigure dirty blood into electric streams of light.
My song is sung; as my voice dies away I hear the swarm's song take over the air.
Ten million clockwork hearts tick and tock inside my head and heart.
Their maddening cacophony leads me deep beneath the sea and far beyond the sky.
I can feel them dancing through me in time with my beating heart.
There's nothing in this world that can take the light from me.
I am the sky-iron mantis king.
..
© 2012 - 2024 Zed-of-Venice
Comments4
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AyeAye12's avatar
Positive: The imagery is creative and brilliant. Very precise colours (meteoric iron, sky-iron) and powerful words (I sigh as they transfigure dirty blood into electric streams of light... Ten million clockwork hearts tick and tock inside my head and heart).

Also, I get a good feel of a narrative. A horrifying one, but at the same time relaxing... which is pretty ambivalent. Pro-transhumanism, are we? ;)

Negative: I don't really get a feel of rhythm. To me, it just feels like a bunch of well-written lines, not really leading on to each other in the way of structure...

Of course, I then read that you put this in the Urban & Spoken Word category, so I expect this piece would sound better when spoken.

All in all though, well done on this piece!